Inconvenient Keyboard Instruments

I find myself drawn to instruments almost too big to move and which could all be passably represented with a single good sampling synthesizer. My current collection includes:

The Rhodes 88-key Electric Suitcase Piano Thank goodness it separates into two pieces, the heavier of which is just barely too heavy to be lifted by one person (I haven't weighed it yet). Too big for most trunks, except for a huge Plymouth Fury I used to own; this fine instrument needs a station wagon or pickup truck to leave the house, which means that I've got my next vehicle already picked out. I've been told that this is the largest model of Rhodes ever made (which is somewhat of a relief) and the only one that has big enough speakers to initiate self-feedback from silently depressed bass keys. Also, for what it's worth, it predates the "Fender Rhodes" years. The Baldwin 46C Two-Manual Electronic Church Organ Circa 1961; a whopping 380 lbs., not including the 32-note detachable pedal board and the bench (they're another 70 lbs.); approximately 90 tubes and exactly zero wheels. I hire piano movers for this one; in that it won't fit through some doorways in my house because of its bulky single-piece architecture, it is actually less portable than my grand piano (see below) whose legs come off and which (like all grands) can be easily navigated around corners and through doorways on its side. The Farfisa Mini Compact Electric Organ Actually truly portable, the legs come off and fit into a well in the bottom, which closes up to create what looks like a odd slightly-too-thin, slightly-too-long suitcase. Too bad it doesn't have built-in amplification and speakers -- having to tote along an amp just nudges this instrument over the inconvenience threshold. The knee controller, which modulates volume and equalization at the same time, is nifty. The Farfisa Combo Compact Electric Organ Add to the Mini Compact an extra octave of keys, an integral spring reverb and a volume pedal; change the detachable legs to fold-ups, and add another 10 pounds of fine Italian pine and you have an idea of what the Combo Compact is like. It wouldn't be much less portable than the Mini if its handle wasn't broken off, but it is, so I carry it in both arms like a dead child, leaving somebody else to carry the keyboard amp that's necessary to actually hear the instrument. The Wurlitzer Model 200 "Professional Portable" Electronic Piano 1972; at 56 lbs. (sans legs), not as heavy as the Rhodes (because it's smaller and has detachable legs instead of a huge amplifier/speakers box to sit on), but a pain to move anyway because I don't have the optional big wood "carrying case" (Model 233A), which means that (a) I can't transport the instrument in any position other than right-side-up, (b) I can't stack anything on top of it during transport, and (c) I have to stow the four large steel legs and the sustain pedal unit ala carte. The Wheelock "Aeolian" Baby Grand Piano Its termites were a retrofit. I can't figure out how to weigh it. One definition of "aeolian" is "giving forth or marked by a soughing sound or musical tone produced by or as if by the wind." "Sough" is in turn defined as "to make a moaning or sighing sound," so there you go. The Yamaha SK-30 Symphonic Ensemble No legs, almost as big as the top half of the Rhodes, and too heavy to be put on top of anything else I value. It barely fits in the trunk of my Cortina. Lots of knobs and sliders, and no facility of any sort for remembering where you had them set before you moved them (short of making a little diagram on a piece of paper) -- it's a synthesizer after my own heart. I like the separate output jacks for each of the voice areas (organ, strings, polyphonic synth, solo synth) and the fact that I can hook my Theramax up to its control voltage inputs. Best of all, it makes what my underexposed ears consider to be a decent pop organ sound (it has individual volume sliders for each overtone, and it does fifths and thirds, which the Farfisas don't) so it could conceiveably save me from having to tote around, say, a B-3 (if I had one). Special Bonus Section: My Least Elephantine Clavier The Hohner Melodica Ahh. Finally a keyboard that not only needs no roadies but also needs no electricity. Twelve inches long and end-blown, I have the fittings (but not the original corregated tubing) that let you play it horizontally with two hands. It's easier to play than I imagine the harmonica to be, and it's very handy for those moments when getting the accordian out is too much of a pain in the ass. I got this because I saw a concert movie wherein keyboardist Yuta Saitoh played something similar (bigger and better, actually) that I now know to be called a "pianica." Postscript: July 1997 I buy a 1983 Volvo station wagon for $400. Among my justifications is the ability to "move the Rhodes around." February 1998: A New Addition to the Family! The Jenco Ultratone Vibraphone This 1967 studio model beauty was gathering dust in Mike Wachs's garage until I showed up and whisked it away to gather cat footprints in my living room. He said it used to belong to latin percussionist (and bandleader?) Johnny Conga and sold it to me for the same $500 he had paid for it some ten years earlier. Not shown is the swank gold-brown leatherette cover; if you leave the cover on and play the keys through it with soft mallets, it sounds somewhat marimbalike, which will probably help forstall the day when I wheel a real three-octave marimba into the living room to keep it company. Although dimensionally larger than just about everything listed above (except the piano) it has big wheels, so I can move it around the house without help and -- the best part -- it disassembles into seven large, flat pieces that can be wrapped in blankets and stacked into the back of the Volvo if I put the seat down.

Celebrated by Dave LaDelfa

Last updated on 5 March 1998